Coffee Quest!
by CoffeeHouse101
Summary: The cast of Gundam Seed goes on an insane, random quest for EXTRAordinary coffee! Includes: Psycho!Kira, Flaybashing, Alive!Certain people, and so much more...Now with Chapter 2
1. The Ultimate Brew

Coffee Quest!

By CoffeeHouse101

Disclaimer: Gundam Seed doesn't belong to us. But theAflamed has a lot of coconut powder...

A.N.- Doesn't the title make you think of cheesy video game music? We are very proud of this title….

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Chapter One: The Ultimate Brew

Kira Yamato spun around, and found himself facing an empty corridor on the _Archangel_.

He ran a hand through his brown hair, violet eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Goddammit. I could have _sworn _someone was following me."

He dropped his hand and sighed. Actually, when he thought about it, someone probably _was _stalking him- that psycho girl, his ex-girlfriend, Flay Allster. _"I told her it was a mistake! If that's not a break-up line, then I don't know what is!" _Kira thought angrily, turning around and continuing his stride down the hall.

He sighed again. This was all getting too stressful. He led a busy life, you know. He fought battles, tried to kill his best friend, had a psychotic ex-girlfriend... Life was hard.

He needed a vacation.

But he also needed something much more than a vacation...

He needed a cup of coffee.

Kira screwed his eyes shut, wishing fervently for a really good, hot cup of java. And than suddenly, he was THERE.

WHERE? Everyone asks.

THERE.

No, not there. THERE.

Kira was now at... THE GS LOUNGE!

The GS Lounge was the ULTIMATE hangout... along with a being a super-awesome coffee house. Comfy, squishy, dark green couches were scattered about the place, and a flickering neon sign that covered one wall proudly proclaimed: The GS Lounge.

Kira dragged himself over to the counter, where Andrew Waltfeld stood sampling his newest brew.

"It needs more lemon..." Waltfeld muttered, making frantic notes on a pad of Post-Its.

"I need coffee," Kira said weakly, suddenly feeling as though his whole existence depended upon getting one really, really good cup of coffee. He hoisted himself up into a stool and laid his head on the counter.

Waltfeld eyed him critically. "You need more than coffee," he said seriously. "You need... THE DESERT TIGER'S ULTIMATE BREW!" He cackled insanely, turning his back on Kira and beginning to insanely measure this coffee and that coffee and some other random things before mixing it together.

"I need a break," Kira said vaguely, rubbing his eyes. "I need coffee. I need a coffee break!" He laughed, a bit insanely. "Coffee break! A break that involves coffee. Heehee!"

Waltfeld smacked him upside the head. "Pull yourself together, kid! The coffee is almost ready..." He glanced to the coffee machine, which gurgled innocently. He hoped that the coffee would be ready in time, before Kira dissolved into a giggly mess of odd sayings.

Kira however, would not stop giggling, finding himself to be too funny for words. "Coffee break!"

Once Kira got his coffee and had regained enough sanity to stop giggling, he and the Desert Tiger started to watch the war on the T.V. that was mounted on one wall. Here's a random fact of the GS Lounge- you know how the sign is flickering? Yeah, well, Waltfeld was supposed to buy a new one, but then he went and spent all their money on a big screen T.V. Nobody argued with him- the T.V. was JUST. TOO. COOL.

"Hey Kira, the ship is about to fire that escape pod from the earth forces," Waltfeld commented, sipping his coffee. He closed his eyes happily. His Ultimate Brew was too awesome for words.

Kira sat straight up and hissed, "No! Not cool!" Then he turned whiny. "I hate her! I don't want to see her again! No FAIR! I had to act dead to get rid of her the first time, now what am I going to do?"

Waltfeld eyed him nervously. This kid might need more than the Ultimate Brew to regain sanity...

After a brief, yet awkward, moment the escape pod blew up.

"Wasn't Flay on that escape pod Kira?" Waltfeld said suddenly, realizing why the kid was freaking out.

Kira pouted, then took another sip of coffee. _"I hate my life."_

_Ploof._ Flay popped out of nowhere, right in front of Kira. Waltfeld shuffled off to stand in the shadows. Kira was in complete disbelief. _"Why me?" _This he just got annoyed, and his violet eyes narrowed in annoyance

_"God, I can't get rid of this girl! She must have been blown up on purpose. The Earth sent her in that escape pod 'cause they just want to make me miserable! Ughh! _

As more psychotic thoughts ran through his mind, Flay threw herself onto Kira. Kira, already in a psychotic state I remind you, pushed her aside._  
_  
"Darn you, you stalker you! I can't even enjoy the Desert Tiger's Ultimate Brew! Hehehehe," he laughed psychotically, rather enjoying his coffee.

"Kira, how could you break up with me? Don't you want to protect me? It's because your a coordinator isn't IT?" Flay says with that ugly, psychotic face. She approached him once again, looking for the comfort we all know she DOESN'T DESERVE.

"COORDINATE THIS!" yelled Kira as he slapped her across her face. He then noticed that because of her he has spilt some coffee. "Damn girl! Now where will I get some finely brewed coffee!" He cried dramatically, completely ignoring that he is in a Coffee House.

Another hand came out of nowhere, smacking him upside the head. Kira's twin, Cagalli, stood there, looking peeved. "You're in a coffee house, idiot!" she informed him sharply, crossing her arms over her chest.

Kira instantly lost his psychotic, vengeful edge. "Oh." Then he came up with a comeback. "But- but I need a really, really good cup of coffee! Not just ordinary coffee. I need..." he cast around for a word. "EXTRAordinary coffee."

Athrun Zala, Kira's best friend (yeah, the one he had been trying to kill) suddenly appeared as well. "I heard of this one place that had really good coffee once," he commented, running a hand through his blue hair. "I can't remember what it is, though..." He shrugged. "Mystery..." Then his head snapped up. "Yzak! Good coffee place! What is it?"

Yzak, who had also just appeared, narrowed his icy blue eyes. "How the hell would I know?" he snapped before stalking away in a Yzak-like RAGE.

Dearka, also now present, tapped his chin thoughtfully. "You know, I remember talking about that place. I think it involved hot girls and swimsuits..." he eyed Miriallia, who had also made her presence at the GS Lounge known. "You know, I could do with seeing YOU in a swimsuit," he said suggestively.

She opened her mouth to reply scathingly when someone interrupted her.

"WHAT? Don't talk to my girlfriend like that!" the new boy cried.

Mouths dropped. "TOLLE?" everyone cried out, shocked. What, you want a list of who's there?

Fine.

"TOLLE?" cried Kira, Flay, Dearka, Yzak, Athrun, Cagalli, Lacus, Miriallia, Sai, Murrue, Waltfeld, and Natarle.

Tolle dropped his angry pose. "Yeah?"

"You're ALIVE?" Sai asked, eyes wide behind his super-cool orange glasses.

Tolle nodded. "Yeah. Right before my impending doom I wanted some coffee, so here I am."

Everyone was silent, thinking: _"Okaaayyyyy..."_

"Damn," Dearka muttered, wondering if he would EVER get to hit on Miriallia anymore now.

"We all come here for coffee," Mu La Flaga said causally, strolling calmly into the room.

"MU?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"You're alive," Murrue said tearfully.

Mu almost rolled his eyes. "Of course I am. I can't just DIE, after all."

Murrue was immediately practically attached to his side, and Mu all the sudden realized just how Kira felt.

Then, all of a sudden, a green-haired boy walked in. He was shuffling through a pile of music sheets. He looked up with a warm grin.

"I heard that the beach makes some _fine_ coffee," Nicol said calmly.

More silence.

"NICOL!" Athrun screeched, enveloping him in a hug. "YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"Mmm, yeah," Nicol said. "Can't breathe..."

Athrun let go hurriedly, trying to regain his suave exterior look.

"The beach..." Kira repeated, looking thoughtful.

It was then that he knew his quest.

He had to get to the beach for a really, REALLY good cup of coffee.

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We have three loves: Chicken, coconut powder, and watermelon jolly ranchers.

CoffeeHouse101


	2. Deprivation Games

Chapter 2  
Disclaimer: Sadly we don't own Gundam Seed or Fruits Basket… however phoenixmage is The Evil Panda Cupcake…

Then it struck him. "Let's go on a Coffee Quest!" (Bad video game music plays)

Everyone was silent. _"Okay, Kira has finally lost it..." _Everyone thought. But then it hit them: _"What the heck? We all need some EXTRAordinary coffee."  
_  
To leave the GS Lounge and get to the beach, they had to ride a charter bus. Well, they could've walked, but it was FAR, FAR away. And they were lazy.

Kira was the last one onto the bus. "Thank you, bus driver-_san_," he said politely. Why? Because Kira's polite, when he's not entirely coffee-deprived. Or depressed. Or when he's just... not...

The bus driver remained silent, and the flap on his hat kept anyone from seeing his face. The hat was very interesting. It was one of those hats... Okay, you know the hats that the Le Creuset team wear when they sneak into Orb? Yeah, it was a hat like that. Except purple and... sparkly...

Kira, feeling slightly offended that the bus driver didn't reply, plopped down on one of the middle seats. He reached over for the ever-convenient coffee maker and made a cup.

"Mmm... if coffee tastes like this here, I can't wait to find that place at the beach. Hahaha! Beach plus coffee equals HAPPINESS."

The bus started to move onto the interstate. Kira, still a little hyped from the Desert Tiger's Ultimate Brew, was happily grinning and thinking random, random thoughts, like how the sun was a like a giant meatball in the sky. Nicol was sitting in the front, still shuffling through his paper completely oblivious to the fact that everyone was surprised to see him alive. He never was one for making a fuss over things, after all.

Then he looked up and sighed. "I _told_ you guys already… I knew I had to save Athrun, but I _really_ wanted some coffee so, just like Mu, I put the Blitz on autopilot and went to get some," said Nicol impatiently. Couldn't everyone just be happy with the fact that he was alive?

Athrun, staring at his still-alive friend, nodded numbly. "Okay Nicol, whatever you say."

He continued to stare.

Nicol began to get annoyed, but covered it by looking at his PRECIOUS music.

Down the aisle, Lacus and Cagalli were staring at Flay. _"Why is she even coming on this trip?"_ they wondered.

Mu and Murrue were in the back doing… stuff... _What _stuff exactly is the real question. However, Natarle was sitting in back of them and giving them a disapproving glare. But her opinion means nothing, because she disapproves of EVERYTHING.

Tolle was sitting next to Miriallia, who was, despite Tolle's disapproval, sitting next to Dearka.

"Man, she's hot... and taken. Grr... Why wasn't Tolle sent to the other place? Like that one place where the Keebler elves live? That would've been good. They should make Toll cookies out of real Tolle's... That would make me happy," Dearka muttered to himself.

"What?" Tolle asked sharply.

"Nothing!" Dearka said quickly. He rather liked being alive, after all.

Suddenly, there was a violent jolting of the bus. They were picking up a lot of speed.

"Kira, don't you think you should ask the driver what he is doing?" Cagalli asked impatiently, because Kira had to do EVERYTHING.

Kira grumbled, but he didn't dare to refuse or protest and therefore went up to the front of the bus, carrying the whole coffee pot up with him.

"Excuse me, bus driver-_san_, but don't you think we are going a little fast?" When the bus driver didn't respond AGAIN, Kira got annoyed. And we all know what happens when Kira gets annoyed... He gets ANGRY. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" Kira snapped.

The bus driver turned to face him before beginning to talk loudly and boisterously. "Yes, I am sorry, see I have come from a long line of descendants where we must go fast, and going against this will means going against Kandra, the great, mighty, heavenly god!" He stood up and threw off his bus driver uniform, revealing unusual clothes and long silver flowing hair.

The hat stayed on. He liked the hat.

He went on rambling, getting closer and closer to Kira's personal space. Kira couldn't help but think weakly, _"Bubble..."_

The bus driver was still talking, despite Kira's obvious discomfort. "And that's why we are speeding out of control, my friends. Oh, how rude of me! I've forgotten to introduce myself!" He lifted his hat off, his snake-like golden eyes glowing "No need for long introductions! I am Ayame Sohma, and I will be driving you to the beach! Ahahahaha! We will BOND as bus mates!"

Everyone stared at him, before Sai spoke tentatively. "Umm, who's driving the bus now?"

"Oro?… Oh silly me!" Ayame plopped back onto the driver's seat, taking the wheel once more, which was still really dangerous. Then, he said brightly, "We should play a game to pass the time!"

Everybody on the bus looked forward, baffled by this Ayame character.

"Hmmm... Remember that paper I handed everyone? That's the game we are playing!" Ayame chirped before swerving sharply to one side to avoid hitting a mail truck.

"What paper? I didn't get one!" Kira complained, wanting to play for some reason. Yes, the Ultimate Brew was still in his system.

Ayame ignore him before laughing. "Yes, what a wonderful game it is!"

"What game?" Kira asked impatiently while guzzling coffee.

"Ahh, young Kira, it is a game that no mere person like yourself can master!" Ayame said as though he were a super-wise sage like Yoda. But he's not. Yoda is too wise for him. Yoda is too wise for his love. Yoda is a model, if you know what I mean...

Kira was loosing his patience, and it was very obvious. "God dammit, just tell me! I can do anything! Bring it on! I'M A COORDINATOR! I CAN DO ANYTHING!"

All of the passengers started talking among themselves. Most of them agreed that Kira couldn't play this game, despite the fact that he was a super-Coordinator.

Ayame smiled deviously. "Okay, Kira, but if I tell you, you must play!" He grinned. "It is the game of... DEPRIVATION!"

Kira stared at him blankly, mind dulled from mass amounts of coffee. "Is that like Operation?"

Ayame quickly gathered up some people and spoke to them just a swiftly. "You know what to do."

First, they knocked him back in his chair. Then Yzak came out of some mysterious shadows. Yzak loved mysterious shadows. they were MYSTERIOUS. Plus, they aided his whole 'I have some serious anger management issues that occasionally give way to psychotic episodes' persona.

"Allow me to do this part. I've been waiting for this moment since he scarred my face!" Yzak raged.

"You have some extreme self-esteem issues, don't you?" commented Dearka, scathingly. He never missed an opportunity to make scathing remarks. Never.

"Shut up!"

Dearka held up his hands in a seemingly helpless gesture. "Hey, you're the mama's boy here, so don't tell me to shut up!"

There was silence (babum). Yzak quickly tied Kira to the bus seat. Then he glared at Dearka and vowed revenge. He liked vowing revenge.

"Hey, what kind of game is this!" yelled Kira, finally getting the drift that he WASN'T GOING TO LIKE THIS.

"Why silly, its called the 'How Long can Kira Go without Coffee' game," Ayame said innocently.

"What? I never agreed to this!" Kria cried out.

"Yes, you did, ahohohoho!" Ayame said happily. "And remember- this is a six hour trip." To make it cruel, they stuck the coffee maker right in front of him and just out of his reach.

An Hour and a Half Later

"Hey guys, I'm thirsty, can't I have some? Please? Just a little bit?" Kira wheedled.

Lacus took some pity on him and gave him a black bottle with a liquid inside. Kira drank it without a word then, hoping it would be coffee, because Lacus was nice and would do that for him.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" He shrieked, throwing the bottle away. "It burns us! It burns us! I need coffee!" Kira said dramatically, thrashing around. "Juice is an EVIL liquid!"

Flay came over and gulped down the whole bottle "Refreshing!" she said happily.

"See!" Kira exclaimed. "Who but a monster can drink that! I thought you were our friend!"

"I never said I would give you coffee," said Lacus innocently. "Anyway, who is us?"

Kira then realized that he was talking about himself in plural form. "Umm... Nevermind..." He turned to Athrun. "Hey Athrun old buddy, wanna get me a cup o' joe?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"You tried to kill me! The least you can do is get me coffee!"

"You tried to kill me, too!"

"Yeah, well... That's different! GIVE ME COFFEE!"

Athrun turned to the others, looking sad. "We have to shut him up. For his own safety."

Everyone nodded solemnly. It was the only way.


End file.
